Geek Girl Darcy’s niece and nephews have been visiting her. Besides being all around groovy – they’re gamer kids. Just about every day they fire up the X Box and play Call of Duty, Halo3, or one of the sports games.

The realism in today’s video games is amazing but it makes me long for a simpler time …

It’s baseball season! Before you yell, “Kill the ump!” for the first time this year, listen to this:

So. I was reading a blog about the new graphic novel, Smile by Raina Telgemeier.  It looks cute, and bildungsroman is giving a free copy of it away. To win one you have to write a story about an embarrassing moment at the dentist’s office.

Um, I HAVE AN EMBARRASSING STORY ABOUT THE DENTIST’S OFFICE. But, I also don’t think it’s fair for published authors to compete in writing contests on blogs (plus, I couldn’t get my story down to 500 words or less). Still, how often is one invited to talk about their really heinous dental debacles? So. Without further ado…

The following story is based on true events (except the parts that I totallly made up).

A tragedy in three acts

by Geek Girl Darcy

I blame it on my mother. All it took was one time passing out in gym class because I hadn’t eaten enough and she started watching my food intake like a hawk. And really, I get it. I know other girls have problems with that kind of stuff, but not me. I love food. And when I haven’t:

• Lost my lunch card
• Had a hair crisis to deal with before I could get on the school bus and
• Skipped dinner the night before because I was at Tracy’s and her dad served tuna casserole (blech!) – when all those things don’t occur in that exact same order – I am a champion eater.

The other thing my mom is insane about is dental hygiene. I guess it’s because she had to get a bunch of her own teeth pulled. And yeah, I get that too. I brush. I floss. I even use that special rinse she bought. I don’t complain about going to the dentist twice a year for a check up and a cleaning. And I don’t complain (much) when I have to get a filling, mostly because our dentist is really nice and kind of cute (for an old guy who has his fingers in people’s mouths all day).

So there I was, not complaining, even though I had to get TWO fillings, and even though the first pain shot didn’t work so I had to get another one, then wait for it to kick in, and even though the whole dentist appointment thing was taking way too long. And I didn’t complain (much) when Mom insisted we stop by the Burger Hut to get a sandwich since I’d missed lunch at school. Like I said, I wasn’t complaining, even though my lips felt like giant balloons and I could not taste or even feel the fish sandwich I was shoving in my mouth. Complaining would have taken too much time and I was in a hurry to get to Brit Lit class.

I like reading almost as much as I like food but that’s not the reason I wanted to get to school. The reason was Marco. He was beautiful like a Michelangelo statue (except, you know, without the marble and with clothes on). Through an amazing twist of fate, Marco was scheduled to be my partner that day in class – and we were supposed to perform a scene from Romeo & Juliet.

I’d never thought I had a chance with him before but the way he’d looked at me the last few days when we practiced our lines made me think… maybe?

Mom pulled up in front of the school and I promised that, yes, I would brush my teeth before I went to class. Usually I hate breaking promises to my mother but really, who has time for dental hygiene when yon Marco awaits? I ran to class and when I entered the room, he smiled at me. Then a look of concern crossed his face. Awe, was he worried about me? This might go even better than I’d hoped.

We sat through Jack, Todd and Brian’s sword fighting scene then, even though it was out of order, our teacher called Marco and me to the front of the class. I climbed onto the step stool and we started delivering our lines. It was hard to remember them though.

I kept getting distracted because:

• Really, Marco was just so hot.
• And the way he looked at me – wow, like he was trying to peer into my soul or something.

When our scene ended he offered me his hand to help me down from the stool. I’d never believed all that tingling at the touch stuff you read in love stories, but I swear, it happened.

I kept stealing looks at him while our classmates performed the next two scenes, and each time I did, I found Marco staring back. That’s what gave me the courage to linger after class. Incredibly, Marco lingered too.

“Um, Julie?” he said.

I could tell he was nervous. It made him even cuter, if that was possible. I walked over to where he stood by the classroom door. He gave me that look again, the soul searching one, and I thought I might actually swoon. But I knew that if I did, my mom would be there pronto to whisk me off to an eating disorders clinic or something. Instead of swooning I stepped in close like all the teen magazines tell you to do.

“I was wondering if you-” he started.

I smiled up at his beautiful face. I didn’t care what he was wondering, the answer was: Yes! Yes! A thousand times, Yes!

“If you-” He actually blushed and pulled at the collar of his shirt. Adorable.

I was thinking we’d be just like Romeo and Juliet (except without the poison and death and the whole tragedy thing) when he spoke again, “I was wondering if you – knew you had a really big piece of sandwich stuck in your cheek?”

Okay. So totally WITH the whole tragedy thing. For never was a story of more woe than this of Julie, her crazy mother, two Novocain shots, a fish sandwich, Shakespeare – and her Marco.

I don’t know about all of you, but I just can’t resist a good cheerleader movie and Bring It On was one of the best. Imagine my surprise when I found out that there are more Bring It On movies — a lot more, enough to hold a cheertastic movie marathon with.

If only I had the time.

Wait! I’m on vacation next week. We’re supposed to leave the icy tundra known as northeast Indiana and head to Florida. Maybe instead I could pop a big bag of fat free popcorn, chill a case of Diet Pepsi, fire up the DVD player and…

Nah. I’ll see you guys in a week. Except for those of you at Naples High School. I’ll see YOU GUYS on Tuesday!

And for the rest of you, if you’d like to plan your own cheerific movie marathon, here’s all the info you’ll need:

Bring It On: How a sleeper hit about cheerleading became a direct-to-DVD franchise.

Geek Girl Charity adds: OMG, y’all. Just in case you don’t have time to read the article (although it’s quite good), I’d like to point out this tidbit:

Bring It On was in the news recently after a team of Tony Award-winning songwriters announced that a musical based on the film is bound for Broadway in 2011.

A musical. Man, that’s the best news I’ve heard all week. Well, okay, maybe not all week. Still. I hope it goes on tour. I am so there.

Like Charity’s son (Young Geek Extraordinaire) Geek Girl Darcy is a fan of rock ‘n’ roll. I love the old stuff, the new stuff and most of the stuff in between. One day last week I was grooving to some Beck on my local classic rock station when the deejay came on and announced that henceforth January would be known as Manuary.

MANUARY! Now there’s a month I can get behind! I think men are great. They are useful for carrying heavy objects, pulling things off of high shelves and they are generally fun to look at. *Oh yeah ~Manuary~ this is going to be awesome* Or so I thought.

As I listened closer I began to realize that Manuary (as the classic rock station defined it) had more to do with celebrating the less than awesome manly attributes. You know — the beef jerky eating, sweating, breast size comparing parts. Ack.

Not being one to sit back passively and let something with such possibilities be sullied, I propose we TAKE BACK MANUARY!!!!11!

To this end, I offer: Cute Boys Make Me Nervous.

It’s a website devoted to the appreciation of handsome males. I perused it for a good half hour this morning (oh the sacrifices I make in the name of geek girls) just to verify that it is Manuary-worthy. It. Is.

How will YOU celebrate Manuary?

The Geek Girls wish to pass on a little holiday cheer so here’s our playlist. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s goofy. Some of it’s grumpy and some of it is groovy. A couple of them are pretty darn glorious even. But rest assured, all of it is guaranteed 100% geeky.

Sometimes a Geek Girl feels the need to procrastinate. Did I say procrastinate? Oops, I meant investigate – yeah, that’s it. Yesterday was one of those days. Having procrast– err, investigated Tetris to its limits, I had to turn elsewhere. Where better to spend a little quality(?) time than Google Analytics?

It’s fun to see where the visitors of this blog come from. It’s sometimes even more fun to find out what brought them here. When I did a keyword search I learned there may be a robot dance revival in the works. (Geek Dancers of the World, UNITE!) And that teenage boys (okay, I’m assuming here) still want to see pictures of hot! girl! geeks! Neither of these surprised me.

However, there was one keyword search term that caught me somewhat off-guard:

Would Kurt Cobain Survive a Zombie Apocalypse?

I spent several minutes pondering the type of person who would wonder about such things. Then I realized – I must be that type of person – because, once the question entered my brain, I. Could. Not. Let. It. Go.

Would Kurt Cobain survive a zombie apocalypse?

The obvious answer is: No. This owes mostly to the fact that he did not manage to survive being a rock star, so he is unavailable to fight off the zombie hoard when they inevitably attack.

Being a certified Geek Girl, the obvious answer was the most desirable one though. I kept turning it over in my mind and eventually started a list of pros and cons:

Yes, Kurt Cobain WOULD survive a zombie apocalypse:

1. His disheveled hair, pale complexion and tattered clothing could confuse the zombies, making them think he was already one of them.
2. Ditto his mumbling speech patterns. (A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido – is that really what he’s singing?)

No, Kurt Cobain WOULD NOT survive a zombie apocalypse:

1. Already dead.
2. Multiple layers of clothing could slow him down when pursued by the hoard.

Unfortunately, I had to stop procrastina-investigating too soon after beginning the list. (Darn you, real work.)

I can’t spend much time on it today either, since I have to jump in the shower than head my car in the direction of Chicago — where tomorrow (that’s December 5th) I will meet up with the debtacular Aprilynne Pike, Kristina Springer, Cynthia Liu, Saundra Mitchell and Lara Zielin for the Debs Holidaze Tour!

If you find yourself near the Borders in Bolingbrook or the Book Cellar in uptown, stop by and say hi. And if you are in the Minneapolis area, fellow Geek Girl Charity will be signing books and wrapping gifts at the Ridgehaven Barnes and Noble. All the info here.

But back to our quandary…  Dear readers, I must turn to you to solve this mystery.

Leave a comment stating how you believe Mr. Cobain would fare in the event of a zombie attack. One random commenter will be chosen when we get around to it – possibly Tuesday – and I’ll send them a copy of their choice:

• Stacey Jay’s You are So Undead to Me (zombies)
• Jon Skovron’s Struts and Frets (music).

Fine Printy:  I have to read them first – but I promise to be careful about the Cheetos stains.

The Geek Girls have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

To show a little bit of our appreciation we bring you a timeless turkey classic:

Video from sharkhost

Ahh, November! So full of surprises! So flexible! So yummy! November is the month to increase your awareness of: Pancreatic Cancer, Alzheimer’s Disease, Lung Cancer, Ulcerative Colitis, Diabetes, Homeless Youth, and the Transgendered among us.

It’s also the month set aside to celebrate Adoption, Pomegranates and Novel Writing. The Roman Catholic church dedicates lovely November to the Holy Souls of Purgatory.

It’s a pretty full month. You’ll need a few extra minutes each day to fully appreciate all its causes and remembrances. You’ll need a LOT of extra minutes every day if you hope to write 50,000 words of a novel to “win” at National Novel Writing Month. What’s a geek to do?

No worries. The Geek Girls have searched far and wide to bring you a solution — and here it is:

NO SHAVE NOVEMBER!

That’s right, geek gals, give up your razor for the month, grow some insulation on your legs for the coming winter. And for you geek guys, we offer:

NOVEMBEARD!

Let your chins get wooly while you contemplate whether the next sentence in your novel should be punctuated with a dash, an em-dash, or an ellipsis. There’s even a website dedicated to the process, with pictures!

Warning! Some of the boys on that page are cute. Don’t spend too much time staring at them, okay? After all, it’s still November — you’ve got lots to do!

Oh Noes! It’s Halloween morning and you have failed to adequately plan and execute the perfect costume! That fabulous party you’ve been invited to is only T minus X hours away!

Not to worry, the Geek Girls got your back! (and, apparently all your exclamation marks too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Want to go as Molly Ringwald from the Breakfast Club? Voltaire? Yo Mama? Just follow this link to the instant costume generator.

You can thank us tomorrow.

And … don’t forget. Today is the last day to enter to win Shadowed Summer and Give Up The Ghost. So if you’re staying in this year and handing out candy (or even if you’re not), why not leave a comment here or here.